Heyhey~~~As always, I've been playing STAR WARS: KoTOR. It rocks lor! I'm SURE to purchase The Sith Lords II when it comes out (pretty soon), definitely... :D

Anyways I'm all Light Side Jedi right now. Kekeke. Because I actually got "reprimanded" by my party member "I saw you giving in to your blah blah blah..." then I gai3 guo4 zi4 xin1 HAHAHA.

Anyways I realize the game DO has elements of love leh. Btwn. my JEDI and another JEDI somemore. Or izzit because I everytime purposely choose those "suggestive" conversation choices...? Dunno lar. That DO spice things up a lot, bWaHaHa. That makes me wonder if I play with another female character next time, will that mean the "intimacy" will be developed btwn. another male party member...? Hmms. Pretty cool, huh. :D

It's like, those conversation choices I made are really "childish" lor... HAHAHA. For eg. Bastila (the Jedi) would ask me why izzit that I'm so intent on driving her insane... "What can I say? It's fun." HAHAHA!!! Ku4 bah!!!

Anyways as a "Jedi" in-game myself, let's just say my IDEAs are pro-Dark Side. I mean, I think all that crap abt abandoning emotions are nothing but CRAP, hahaha. Wah. If I really live in the Star Wars universe, I would pursue the dark side, let my passion fuel my strength, do things as I LIKE (and not be restrained by some Light Side Jedi Code)... But I just won't kill the innocent. "Break the chains" - sort of thing, you know...? It's so DUMB DUMB DUMB lor as I play the game, seeing how those stupid old fools holding some blind faith... Anyways I've also convinced quite a lot of those who have fallen to return to the light, cool bah! :D Because at initial character building, I choose for my WISDOM & CHARISMA to be the highest attributes... Kekeke.

Anyways the game is cool lar~~~I'm wielding 2 Lightsabers at the mmt. I love DUAL-WEAPON fighting man! Oh and then currently I'm DOUBLE-DOUBLE-DOUBLE crossing...

What does that mean? This woman told me of a plan to kill this headmaster or something inside the Sith Academy... I agreed and then relayed her plan to the headmaster himself... The headmaster than gave me some poison to weaken her. Then I TOLD the woman again, abt the headmaster. But lied that I didn't relay the plan to him, and also lied that he asked me to poison her. Then the woman in turn, gave me something to weaken the headmaster. So in the end I get ALL the benefits cuz I can kill them BOTH!!! bWaHaHa~~~

Oh man I would really imagine if I was living in such times, under such a condition, I would REALLY double-cross, play around with the 2 sides lor. Huh, can't help being a Gemini, RIGHT!? :P Anyways it's so cool lor~~~Sky arh. I would never be a FULLY-HONEST person all-the-time, hehhehheh. :P

Haiyo~Anyways I think that sort of "life" is really cool and full of adventure lor. Survival to the fittest, OMG!!!

Haiyah~~~I love games that allow you to incorporate your own personality inside jiu4 dui4 le. :P

Oh, then I suddenly started talking with my mom last night, cuz I was asking abt what age I started to write... Anyways then the conversation comes to - I ACTUALLY WENT KINDERGARTEN BEFORE.

I was like... OMG!? REALLY!? I can't remember A SINGLE THING. And all this time I kept thinking I only went to Pri. Sch in China! Omg..... At the mmt I have a glimpse into how terrible those who lost their memory must have felt... It's like... Without your past, you can't make of anything abt the present... And even your future seems to have nothing to build upon and everything... It's like LOSING THE WORLD.

Anyways and I went on abt complaining on how she wasted my genius - Yes I would tell her in the face that I think, no no no, I AM smart, but I'm just lazee. Abt how I could have learned Piano when I was young and be really good in music right now... Then she told me I totally detested dancing, skirts, PE and singing when I was young. = = But I do recall a period I was really fascinated by Piano and DID know how to play a simple thing or 2 on a toy one lor... (What can I say? Smart from birth. HAHAHA) Oh, now that's why I have all my current "inabilities" to account to... Hahaz... She actually said that what my teacher asked me to join in some sort of competition or something but I NO NO NO to such stuffs...

Oh ya, she mentioned I got all "100 100 100s" when I was in nursery too, bWaHaHa. Though I do not remember. Anyways EVERYONE get full marks when they are young, don't they?

Dunno lar~I really think all my potential are WASTED at her hands... HAIZ. HAIZ. HAIZ. And it's not like I'd be so... DILIGENT myself to realize all these stuffs.

Oh... And everytime we talk abt my biao3 ge... I'd say "I always remember jiu4 jiu4 saying I'm SMARTER than him"... bWaHaHA. ^^. So that's how I get all my "pride" "zi4-lian4 ness" or whatever from... From young, when my jiu4 jiu4 would spank my biao3 ge in front of me and told him to be LIKE me, HAHAHA!!! I do think I'm like the smartest... On my street lor. Omg there I go again, HAHAZ.

Anyways, she told me a most "breaking" news... My biao3 ge is like... Getting married? And lots of the other people I knew back then? Younger than 20? And I'm like "OMG people get married at 30 in Singapore" "OMG I haven't even tan2 lian4 ai4 yet they are getting married"... etc. etc... TERRIFYING.

Anyways, I do think while people nowadays are zao3 shu2... Starting to fall in love really young, I'm wan3 shu2... I admit I do find myself... Really childish yet. I was like telling my mother I want everytime to stay as they are when we are young, without the complication of adult life. All that romance crap. I just want to have fun, hang-out with friends etc. etc... Heeheehee! I mean, coming to think abt it, really lor, if it wasn't for everybody going on abt LOVE LOVE LOVE, the least bit of it would even come across my mind still devoted to... Playing... ^^"

But who cares anyways - As what I kept on telling my mother, I don't care what this world thinks, I don't worry abt other people unto myself - This is my life and I just want to do things as I like and live happily! :D

Anyways, as we talk I just couldn't help but realize both of our IDEALS are completely different. And as a mother she has failed to influence me in any bit of whatsoever at all. I mean, true, I think it's good to be nice and hardworking and all, I acknowledge that. But on my part, I allow myself to be bad and lazee and all. I know where my position is. Whatever lar~Who ask her just let me run all abt when I was young and in the end I became so FREE...??? bWaHaHa. I love that abt me anyways. I mean, it's really as in, I know I'm kind-hearted but I won't go about doing kind deeds. In fact, like I told her, I won't let anyone affect me. I may have this REALLY GOOD FRIEND, but say for eg. one day she decides to steal, and she's my friend no more. I mean, in some sort of sense that I don't know how to phrase... Then as in, my idea is that a friend WILL NOT force me to do things that I do not wish to, so one day anyone tries to cross the line - BYE BYE. That'll just be me. Of cuz I don't mean the daily minor stupid lil things lar, but it's just.... In a sense that I cannot phrase. ^^"

Like I told her~Some of my thinkings are so firm that they are unchallenged. Because I abide by them. Anyone try questioning them a lil they are automatically marked off on my part. :P So in the end others won't influence me. Yepyep. But it's like people around me would bring me to exposure to more things, and in time, I may decide to change myself as well. That's just it lor.

Then I also told her how I think - Separation is a part of life. And those many things that people feared are inevitable in life. And my attitude is to embrace those things and push myself on... Er as in I won't go abt maintaining a true self and be the same to everyone. That's just dumb and stupid. It makes sense in me telling her that I treat people diff.ly according to their personalities... Someone who's kind-hearted...? TRY to talk him or her into doing things for me so that I can be lazee... HAHAHA... Etc. etc.

Then I also told her abt how I would really wish to die at the age of 30. Cuz I don't want to live what's beyond that... Getting old and all. Obviously she's like "!!!!! How can you think that" at this... Then I'm like... What's the big fuss? We're all gonna die one day anyway.

Dunno lar~HOHOHO and I told her my greatest wish LATER on in life will be shao4 nai3 nai3 (bcuz I'm lazee) and marry a guy who can go into a shop and buy you know... "That monthly thing" for me... That's so wei3 da4 what! Can you imagine how great a guy can be when he would buy that sort of thing for you...? HAHAz~~~But it's just talking and "envisioning" anyways.

Life is just unexpected. And while I am able to list down all the qualities I would like in someone, you never know until you met the right person what, right? But that's for FURTHER down the road.

Ok meanwhile I'm back to Star Wars! :D

Oh ya did I mention that I talked from 1 am... To 4.30 am something...?
Fact is I think I'm a chatty person, when I can sense the other party is willing to talk as well. And when the topic interests/ includes me... Frankly I do have not so much interest in talking abt other people... I LOVE myself more! Anyways... I'm chatty, but not TALKATIVE. :P

It's just cool in the sense bcuz she's probably the only one whom I can talk abt my childhood with... And as we talked talked talked I just feel some sort of "empowering emotion" burning inside me, that's where HOME lies, isn's it? :D I mean, it's really nice to know you may be all alone struggling out there... But you know SOMEWHERE on this Earth, there is this place that'll always be there for you... And when you're tired you can just go back and recharge and all... I mean I could even imagine myself taking photos here and there when I really got back... Kekeke..... I dunno lar. I just really feel that THAT is where I ONLY, ALWAYS and will FOREVER consider home... No where else. I'm just a by-passer in all those places I've been to, then Hainan will be the only place where I always belong... :P

I shall go back and PROPAGANDA S.H.E, HAHAHA!!!