请不要太崇拜本人 小case而已啦

有时间要去download些华文font了!
聪明如我只是懒得去download而已 哈哈哈

我个人觉得有一种很颓废的风格~哦 我是颓废的
本人有在觉得那些words 破坏了整个composition hor... HMMSie.

Anyways got back Chinese O'lvl results today...
老实说我真的没啥感觉耶 成绩在呈交上去的那一刻就已成定局了嘛
可是在踏进礼堂 人潮汹涌的时候 兴奋之情有涌上来哦
我并没有给自己预期任何成绩 只是尽力而为...所以 我的压力来自于 不知道该如何期待 =.=

Anyways 在拿成绩前我倒是有在紧张耶 然后拿过去
A --- Then... ONE 说实在的那一刻真的毫无感觉耶
不懂啦 每个人都考得很好啊 Anyways 然后别人真的是呈现疯狂状态
而我是冷静的 只有S.H.E能让我丧失理智 哈哈哈!!!

然后Jannie在那边一幅得了F9的样子 When she got A1啰!
太感动了啦~我觉得成绩没什么能让我感动的 除非我英文拿A1 我应该会疯掉
可是我个人有在觉得我英文其实向来都不错啰 Lower Sec 的时候还有70左右
后来由于热爱S.H.E偏离英文排斥英文有变差啦...可是整体而言我个人根本就很自以为是地觉得 My English rocks! bWaHaHa 只是我讨厌那个语言而以~

Anyways afterwards 偶们走出去 然后去吃
然后看到Hebe 完全被她美到了~好爱她哦 整个人超会唱歌而且金的诉越来越美 而且还拽得很有个性 整个人又很欠扁+装可爱+做作+失败+搞笑... XD!!!
除了爱你 还是 只能爱你---HOHOHO



被美到了~~~超美耶
Hebe是什么?
---是天是地是神的旨意


HOHOHO 还有她多年以前 时代久远 的留言
太可爱了啦 我整个人最最最最最爱+崇拜的歌手就是 ONE & ONLY --- HEBE 了~~~

Hebe(Hebe)　時間：2004/7/16 02:40

這兩天看到大家一直在討論我們貪財與否
有的人覺得我們貪財而感到生氣失望
有的人理解我們是在說玩笑話.所以也寫了一些他們的想法.像是yoinell寫的那一篇大致上就說出了我們的心聲
其實起因是記者當天問了一個我們再也不想回答又老掉牙的問題:[又出那麼多的商品怕不怕被別人說你們又再搶錢？]...所以我們就以玩笑話揶揄自己來結束這個問題
沒想到造成大家的討論...由此可知我們真的要反省自己說話要更小心才是
但摸著良心說...我真的不覺得自己貪財...
也許每個人對貪財的定義不一樣
無論如何我自己最清楚自己在做什麼
我一直很珍惜我有機會讓興趣成為我的事業
珍惜唱歌演出的時刻....珍惜被這麼多人肯定好讓我能多肯定自己一些些...珍惜有戲有廣告可拍..珍惜自己努力所得來的酬勞..擁有這些我就滿足了必盡原本的我是一無所有的
至於你們說的那些商品書籍漫畫專輯等等...都不是我們能控制的..我們也會擔心歌迷根本無法負擔...但是後來我換個角度想...市場一定是有需才有供.有能力的人就購買而無法負擔的人也可以替我們感到開心啊必盡我真的很開心自己竟然能成為漫畫人物⸮在百忙之中竟然能到荅里島拍那種玉女才能拍的寫真集...
現在是快快樂樂的暑假.希望大家都要快快樂樂的喔
對了！最近一直在重複聽王力宏不可思議專輯...真好聽..特別是love love love和not your average thug這兩首歌
還有...蔡康永的L.A.流浪記⸮是一本有趣又輕鬆的書.和時報出版的愛的十一分鐘以及我也還沒看完但覺得不錯的一本書..世界末日與冷酷異境
希望能幫忙打發你們閒得發慌的暑假

而且我觉得她真的有在有内涵.拔错拔错.她整个是S.H.E里面最多大道理的耶~
Whatever lar! S.H.E ROCKS!!!

对了 我有在觉得 天啊 如果我能有8个A1 那将会是多么拉风的一件事
会让我觉得整个人瞬间变成188 一辈子第一次能体会一下俯瞰别人的感觉了...哈哈哈!!!
整个真的会呈现一种拉风到吓死人的状态耶!!!可是我还在玩...进不了状况...
嗯---加油!冲刺!向前!!!努力 拼命 奋斗 战争!!!光宗耀祖!!!!!!!!

那么我要去寻找动力了 都加油吧 反正人生就是要投入才会觉得日子有在给他充实地过
对了 然后回去的时候... On the bus 我给Gordon听那个少林寺18铜人版 痛快
他整个人在狂笑啰 两个字---丢人!!!口诉金得粉好笑呢~而后本人做了一个递给大嘴巴&Sissy Wong的动作 他们也在笑啰 太好笑啦
然后我们四个人都拿出了各自的mp3(除了老土到掉渣的大嘴巴还在用discman) 徜徉在音乐美妙的怀抱里
大嘴巴在听BoA---我老婆的精选集
Sissy Wong在听S.H.E---我老婆的歌
死肥猪在听S.H.E---也诉我的老婆啊

然后我个人在到处跳 一下子阿桑 一下子王心凌 等等等呢~
我是音乐人士嘛

就这样吧 这行文字...进行到这里为止 从这边开始 将是结束
哦我太诗情画意了我

不要太妒嫉~

DVD耶!!!干杯!!!


OMG~美到像禽兽一样(因为不像人).


一路以来已经很精彩 竟然还能给你更精彩!






奇幻乐园~这辈子最梦幻、狂欢的夜晚.


Best of Soul.亚洲全精选~


LOVE & HONESTY 2004 TOUR...




First Live Tour........

我是DVD拥护者!!!

好可爱哦~

哎呀 心血来潮paste上来 我觉得Hebe完全太可爱了~
作为电脑天纵英才的我有拯救她整个电器白痴的天降大任存在

轉貼Hebe留言--我買電腦了
Hebe(Hebe)　時間：2004/3/17 00:15

首先當然要跟各為寶貝们大吼一聲對不起　
再來就是要慶祝我正式成為網路殘障者
還有要感謝陳嘉樺網路小老師的熱情教導
．．．．．打那麼多字．．．．心臟快受不了了
現在我會獨立上網留言了
以後一定會多上來回答你們的問題或是說說我的心事．．．．今天就先到這囉！



天啊Hebe酷死了~

天啊我觉得仙剑从第20集开始越来越好看耶~~~
整个人现在有在热爱这部戏~好好笑哦 是的 我最爱第20集了
看的时候我在喝水...已经很拼命克制了可是最后还是WELL...喷得满地都诉 :$

因为金的太好笑了啦~

Anyways 整部戏我觉得很成功的是一开始我会很讨厌这个这个人 可是随着剧情发展 会真的看到每一个人物的变化 已经他们的成长 所以都没有那么讨人厌了~
然后我觉得重点是那些情绪啊之类的铺张都很不错耶 整个有些情节虽然还是很老套 一用再用
可是看了还是让人觉得很心酸...我觉得如果有戏可以成功地把坏人也刻划得有自己可爱的地方就真的是赞
因为事实上真的没有一定的正与邪啊 然后就是立场不同 坏人也有自己做恶的原因嘛 然后如果这个作恶的原因又是很伟大很泛滥的看了还是会... OMG 好心酸哦~

为什么相爱的人却不能长相厮守在一起
为什么这世上会有生老病死

等等等~整个就是很---无奈 哦 人生百态 连苍天都会感慨它有多苍白吧

因为基本上目前为止就是有很多那些妖啊 也相亲相爱的 然后最后还是双双被杀...整个感觉就是---天啊!!! All they want is to be together...为什么就因为他们和人类并非同类就一定要被杀呢?只要有头脑的生物都可以坐下来慢慢讨论嘛.然后可以晓以大义啊.然后就双方都happy happy~Win-win situation嘛哈哈哈.凭什么人类是主宰为了自己可以任性地涂炭其他的生灵呢...?虽然说我也是人类啦.这个那个~

其实本人有在觉得我的同情心有很很很泛滥耶
不过只限于某些东西 就好像现实中我看到有人想要我捐钱就---闪!
而且实际上也是我看电影或者故事的时候会比现实还要来得更加投入&感受那个情绪~体验另一种生活嘛.然后看完后就可以伸下懒腰觉得很满足就对了~不懂勒.可是这倒是真的.虽然逻辑很奇怪.可是看电影的时候我反而更接近我自己,我觉得.

---
Anyways

基本上我觉得有越看越精彩耶 Compared to other shows whereby I 越看越不想看~
HOHOHO 我在两天内已经看到第22集了啦~我不是故意的~如果没看完 我肯定没心情考试... So... That's it!
做事情要有始有终 始终如一 全身贯彻地进行嘛---

OH YA!这部戏里我唯一喜欢的角色是 唐钰小宝 理由很简单.
因为他帅~~~bWaHaHa.彭于晏Eddie Peng饰演的.我不否认我看这部戏就是在等他的角色登场.
Anyways 他是我看过的脸最修长的人啰 天啊 而且就是一副帅样 从他演爱情白皮书开始我都有在觉得他帅了...天啊 可是小彬彬还是第一帅的... XD!!!

然后他在里面扮演的角色真的有够酷的啰.而且很可爱.天啊---啊---啊---啊
---
密谋"烧"秋天的童话当中.目标锁定大嘴巴. :P
---
基本上我觉得这部戏不错看 至少可以试从20集看起~ :P
而且我蛮喜欢他的拍摄手法的 很能营造那种紧凑的气氛 然后啊 配乐真的很棒
因为一来情绪马上也汹涌了~然后有些特效还蛮烂的啦~可是大致上他武打有够棒的也是
我个人尤其喜欢看李逍遥&林月如双剑合璧!

OMG...我好想跳楼自禁... >____<|||
听起来真的很少林寺or上朝的感觉... S.H.E 官网看到的.
把那个frequency调低...听了很累人...

OMG!!!我觉得那个anti-climax part超好笑的~~~娘娘腔到了极致的地步... XD!!!
可是我发现Hebe的声音调成超bass还是超级好听耶...天啊~~~

等一下我也要拿我的equilizer来调调看~

在听阿桑的 一直很安静 当中
是仙剑奇侠传的插曲之一 整个也是一首悲情到一种地步的歌
可是真的有很好听 她歌声真的很沧桑耶...真的很适合那种一个人寂寞地时候细听、然后独自咀嚼各种味道的歌...

她的新专辑就叫做 寂寞在唱歌 的说
如果她找Hebe当MV女主角 我肯定买~So we'll have to wait and see lor! :P

对了 根本本人网上查询 看来仙剑属于那种人爱得死去活来的那种戏
就是那种 对方明明不爱你 却还是飞蛾扑火 自我毁灭 感人是感人啦~可是我觉得这种安排有够讨人厌
因为在我看来 对方明明不爱你却还是继续付出 不是深情 而是没脑 浪费人生
然后别人明明很爱你 对你很好很好的话 而你却还是继续喜欢着另外一个让你伤心难过而不爱你的人 不是痴情 而是弱智到了极致的地步~麻木不仁 要不就是有极端自虐的倾向

虽然说在戏里看来会很感人 可是就事实而言本人有在唾弃那种行为的~
真的很无法理解啊 可是事实上真的有人可以为另外一个人单身50年...就像S.H.E我爱你取自真人真事的剧情一样...感人归感人~我还是觉得做人不应该太过执著~~~~~

我整个人一直有在猜测到底为什么那个人可以这么有耐性...该不会是长的太丑乏人问津才会... =.="

真的勒 怎么会有人那么有耐性嘛...?奇怪~~~
我在班上呆个15分钟都想跳楼自尽了可是竟然有人可以忍受时间的冲刷(50年耶!在50年内我大概可以以每一秒对一个人产生兴趣然后下一秒又没了兴致的速度活下去吧...)...更甚至有时候我会忽然间就有个想法:天啊我对什么什么失去兴趣了 我要去找新的东西来喜欢~
实在无法了解...........

嗯---

我要去做点功课啰

空蕩的街景　想找個人放感情
做這種決定　是寂寞與我為鄰

我們的愛情　像你路過的風景
一直在進行　腳步卻從來不會為我而停

給你的愛一直很安靜　來交換你偶爾給的關心
明明是三個人的電影　我卻始終不能有姓名

你說愛像雲　要自在飄浮才美麗
我終於相信　分手的理由有時候很動聽

給你的愛一直很安靜　來交換你偶爾給的關心
明明是三個人的電影　我卻始終不能有姓名

給你的愛一直很安靜　我從一開始就下定決心
以為自己要的是曾經　卻發現一定要有回音

我們的愛情　像你路過的風景
一直在進行　腳步卻從來不會為我而停

給你的愛一直很安靜　來交換你偶爾給的關心
明明是三個人的電影　我卻始終不能有姓名

給你的愛一直很安靜　除了淚在我的臉上任性
原來緣份是用來說明　你突然不愛我這件事情

昨天我整个人有在看 仙剑奇侠传 耶 还不错啦
本人对那些演员全没兴趣 纯打发时间而以...
然后我老妈也在旁边看啰... =.= 我在想我的幼稚肯定是从她身上遗传下来的...

不懂勒 个人还蛮讨厌那个男主角的 整个人就是一幅小混混样
看什么戏也好我最讨厌这类型的男主角 当然如果是由小彬彬饰演那就另当别论
然后女主角方面...因为我觉得刘亦菲并不美~所以对她的角色兴趣也不大
可是那个由... You know 斗鱼的女主角 所扮演的 林月如 我觉得有好笑到 XD
而且整个人就是凶到吓死人 可是偏偏又真的很好笑 如果由小Bebe来饰演我会毫不犹豫地支持她哦
哈哈哈!!! 哦 yeah 然后这部戏有蛮两岸三地合作的感觉 王禄江 也有参与演出 书呆子
戏份也还蛮多的啦 整个也是呈现一幅弱智的状态~

So 目前为止整部戏我个人比较讨厌的真的是那个男主角 因为我受不了那种感觉上很 action 的男生还是什么
天啊有被恶到 我是完全会因为一个演员所扮演的角色而进而讨厌那个人的 As always 小彬彬例外 哈哈哈
追根究底的话...在我看过的戏、电影里面 在male characters里面 我个人有比较欣赏的有 Troy里面那个Eric Bana饰演的(我有在极端讨厌那个Brad Pitt扮演的角色所以对于那个演员兴趣也不大...) 因为我觉得他很有责任感、而且就是热爱祖国热爱自己的家人很有担当...等等等~然后勒~差不多也就这个啦.本人看的都是那些动作片之类的,角色根本没什么深度的嘛~

天啊看什么戏也好更甚至在现实中本人最受不了那些拽到不可一世的人 整个就是理所当然该判死刑! >.<

而至于female characters方面也就记得50 First Dates的Drew Barrymore...

然后说到剧情的话还真的没什么戏让我印象特别深刻的.片断是有啦,可是说到营养价值之类的...基本上我很少看那种剧情片、会被闷到... ^.^

Whatever lar 个人觉得仙剑奇侠传的原声带是我听过最热爱的之一~其他的配乐啊也不错~

其实蔷薇之恋hor,说到底我也不会特别喜爱那部戏.我只是超热爱Selina+Hebe跟Ella尬上的那几集~
除此之外就角色方面没几个让我特别喜欢的、一点感觉都没有~剧情方面也还好啦...不就是爱情、而且后面积集我完全懒得看下去...基本上看到Hebe后就懒得再看下去了...可是我觉得蔷薇之恋有比什么流星花园好上几百万倍就对啦.至少S.H.E就比F4高了几百万个层次~

Anyways, I took some time to watch the MV to 五天四夜 just now... It is really like one of my fave MV from S.H.E. (:
Bcuz I think it is WELL-SHOT,整个被一种温馨环绕的感觉~~~会让人觉得 梦想 是可以实现的... HEEHEEHEE.

然后呢...在我download finish之前---奇幻乐园!!!

在我等我的download finish之余
还是让我继续blog吧

不懂勒 这一个礼拜持续下去我整个人真的有在觉得很疲惫 而且是身体力行 连精神都厌倦的那种疲惫
导致我整个人忽然涌现了无限的对于 家 的关爱 等等等
我会忽然觉得 我真的不想以后在劳累了一天后 "热烈欢迎"我归家的是四道冰冷的墙壁...
所以我会想说 那么 全世界最重要的 最让人觉得幸福的 应该就真的是亲情吧
就我理解范围而言...家人 真的是 一辈子的

不懂勒 至少就我今天而言 我真的有在告诉我妈妈我的一些想法 以后想去上海工作
然后我就会是幸福的吧 而后 一直幸福下去...

事实上是就算我对于自己的家人真的怀有超多的抱怨 因为就每日的生活而言 整个人是任性到了一种极致、无可理喻的地步 所以说 就算有时候他们再讨厌 可是说真的 我真的亏欠很多人太多、太多 他们给与我的是亲情的包容 而我整个人只会不停地索求...

可是至少我有对自己下定决心 将来一定要好好地报答他们啊 我不习惯用言语传达我对于人的感受 可是总有一天 我会努力让每个人都幸福 过着舒适的日子的 以目前而言我把这个设为我的人生目标

因为在身心俱疲了一整个礼拜后我真的觉得 家人 是生命里重量最大的 至少我的生命 就是他们给予的
所以就算会难过、会伤心 在外面受伤 至少我随时可以在家睡上一个大觉 尽情地挥霍着别人的忍耐... ^^"

不懂勒 就好像越长大 我真的有越来越觉得最怀念小时候那些单纯的日子 和看我一路成长的亲人...
我不要求每天有人开车送我上学开车接我下学 只希望能靠在母亲脚踏车的后座再游一遍丰收的稻田...
...等等等

我也不知道啦 像譬如很多时候个人会对于很多人建立、产生一种 疏离感
可是真的 有时候被我妈妈硬逼和在中国的外公、之类的通话的时候(整个人就是不知道要说什么嘛...)
我会觉得 那种感觉很温暖很美好耶 因为不管我变得怎样 就算全世界都把我遗弃 就算我已经有那么久没和他们联系了 有一种在血液里流动的东西是一如往昔的吧...

不懂啦 反正好啦 我总算可以说是找到一个奋斗的理由了 从今以后 不只是为了自己而活
而是希望可以让每个人都快快乐乐地

就算再难过 我还是会一直努力下去 直到达到幸福 为止!

其实我也不懂最近为什么忽然会想那么多啦~
我觉得因为是中四了吧 感觉上是应该有点想法 开始学会担当责任了 因为从今以后这世上我不再是一个个体 而是该开始学着去为自己的家人付出 报答从小到大他们对我大大小小的宽容了 因为其实我有在觉得 如果有人真的有24小时跟我生活在一起可能不到1小时就觉得极其痛恨我了吧, bWaHaHa!!!

而且中四耶 也算是人生的 turning point 了...
感觉上有些事情终将走到尽头 然后我一直都有在想 接下来该怎么办呢...?
我不懂 也不愿想太多...至少在我能力所及范围之内 希望日子能简单地过 然后不断地充实自己
努力...做一个好人 一个对得起社会对得起家人对得起身边所有人的好人.

天啊 我整个人在看 仙剑奇侠传...我没玩过那个游戏啦
可是据我所知 是个完全的经典啦 就华人 RPG 而言
就我所知 就是那种由凄美的爱情贯彻整个剧情的啦...

个人觉得它原声带很好听耶!!!S.H.E唱片公司发的嘛~
如果主题曲由S.H.E演唱,然后让 Hebe 尬一下超多戏分的角色~
然后可能小彬彬扮演男主角的话我应该整个人爱死这部戏吧~而且如果真的这样的话
想不成为世纪末偶像剧都难... :P

个人目前最爱动力火车的 终于明白...目前还不会特别喜欢这部戏啦
可是片尾看着那些画面搭配这首歌真的一霎那有感动涌现呢!
爱自虐的人用利刃一再一再地切割自己的肌肤、让自己感觉痛、才能确切地感受到自己活着...
而我通过阅读、看故事、看电影 体验另一个世界 另一种人生 让自己确认 活着是美好的... (:

然后这部戏的主题曲是JS的杀破狼啦~~~

望著你 慢慢離開
宿命像潮水般
淹沒我 不能呼吸
漂浮在黑色的海

怎麼習慣 失去你的未來
怎麼留住漸漸消失的雲彩
騙自己愛還存在
淚水卻始終不斷

命中注定 沒有你的未來
莫失莫忘漸漸消失的空白

什麼都別說 我不想懂
至少我還擁有 美麗的夢
什麼都別說 我真的不想懂
終於明白 該放手

(終於明白 愛該放手)

个人很喜欢这首歌...好好听哦... ^.^

然后我觉得这首歌歌词很有意境 曲也不错听 重点是我一直都有在留意到耶... Funck... 基本上找不到是 Funck 作曲的,我觉得很好听.金钟罩铁布衫也是Funck作词作曲的...那时我只是觉得:还好还好啦...觉得词并不会特别棒.可是看了逍遥叹的歌词我整个人有崇拜到哦!Haur塞雷哦!

歲月難得沈默 秋風厭倦漂泊
夕陽賴著不走掛在牆頭捨不得我
昔日伊人耳邊話 已和潮聲向東流
再回首 往事也隨楓葉一片片落

愛已走道盡頭 恨也放棄承諾
命運自認幽默想法太多由不得我
壯志凌雲幾分酬 知己難逢幾人留
再回首 卻聞笑傳醉夢中

笑嘆詞窮 古癡今狂 終成空
刀鈍刃乏 恩斷義絕 夢方破
路荒遺歎 飽覽足跡 沒人懂
多年望眼欲穿過 紅塵滾滾 我沒看透

自嘲墨盡 千情萬怨 英傑仇
曲終人散 髮華鬢白 紅顏歿
燭殘未覺 與日爭輝 徒消瘦
當淚乾血盈眶湧 白雪紛飛 都成紅

不晓得新加坡有没有这个VCD~我还蛮想买的.我整个人热爱看戏. :P
可是我个人真的完全没有觉得那个刘亦菲有美到 at all 勒.感觉上她五官是不错看~可是以我挑剔的目光看来,还是完全没有美到勒. In fact she looked REALLY ordinary-looking to me.感觉上气质也不会有~我整个人只是超想看 Hebe 演古装啦,哇哈哈!!!我觉得她和Gillian一样,适合那些木呐内向话少冷酷的角色...至少就Hebe的个性而言要她背台词就已经很死了. =.= (可是我觉得这样好可爱哦,怎么办?...哈哈哈!!!)


终于明白真的有够好听啰.我觉得 S.H.E 公司的艺人都好棒哦. :P 全都有实力派到啰~
然后像动力火车个人觉得他们还蛮可爱的.因为基本上就是上节目都表现得很痴呆,被人开玩笑了还不知道...整个就是那幅傻劲让我觉得很好笑.是的,我热爱看别人耍白痴...XD真的受不了那些超老实的人啰,天生就是一个笑点嘛!然后像同公司的JS也是...整个人正统正经循规蹈矩有气质到不行...然后基本上Z. Chen也有在饱受S.H.E的摧残...等等等之类的.

华研真的还蛮不错的. :P

说到痴呆,我觉得我们的 A Maths 老师就真得蛮欠扁的,我不想多说,可是真的每次都导致我整个人很哭笑不得...极其无奈.

好拉肚子在唱歌我要去慰劳我的肚子了~免得 hydrochloric acid corrode 我 stomach walls...

天啊 我整个人真的又累到无以复加的地步...
造成我整个人真的事心情郁闷到想杀人 再加上最近有够忙的
考试也没时间 更没那个心力以及清醒程度去学

导致我真的只想呐喊:全世界 去死吧!!!啊--------

而且耳朵是真的听东西很不习惯~天气又热 真的是有够OOXX的
真的是烦到了无以复加的地步 现在我只想 睡觉睡觉 不理会任何人 倒头就睡
(然而我现在在拼命睁着眼皮玩啦...)

不懂勒 也许是整个人今年开始生活是真的有在 翻天覆地 地变化了很多
我觉得很多事情 已经不知不觉 也有了不同的面貌吧 就算是譬如说我看到事情的角度一样
而且时间真的是用飞奔的过去 导致有时候忽然间我会觉得 自己好像没有在实质地把握着任何东西一样
总而言之造成的最终结果就是我狂郁闷!!!如果我真的单细胞就可以了
睡饱就吃、吃饱就玩...玩累了就睡 然而本人最大的烦恼就是自己那变化莫测的心、还有摸不着边的想法
然而...事实上是我不懂何谓诚实 非但会刻意逃避问题、漠视 大多数的时候更是在自我欺骗
其实我还真的不懂 又或者我不想懂 更或者就算我懂我也不去加以理会 而之所以不去加以理会更可是是因为更多的因为...基本上就是 在人的一生之中,到底什么谁最重要的?幸福是什么?我现在做的一切有任何意义吗?这辈子,我都要这样活下去吗? Etc. etc...

我不懂勒 就譬如说身为一个独生女吧 就本人而言我学得最透彻的就是把自己真实的想法掩藏得很好 更甚至如果我想要的话 再难过的时候我还是可以表现得很快乐 唯有在一个人的时候才独自体会那无尽的落寞 还有个人从不会分享 也许是不想分享 也许是惧怕分享...怕有些真的是有关于自己内心最深处的想法的事情说了之后 感觉上就好像失去了一种自我保护的方式、抑或是失去了一方面的自己一样...然后也可能对我而言某些方面的东西是陷入了一种梦魇般的阴影的东西 没有勇气走出去 因为会害怕接下来的路会出现什么 宁愿在黑暗中沉沦也不敢去试着寻找一个突破口
然而不管真正的理由是什么 我不晓得 也不愿意去面对........

不懂勒 有时候和别人聊开了不知不觉会说些比较想法的东西 可是意义上真正该说的我永远都包容得很好
就算会疲倦 习惯就好
就算会难过 习惯就好
就算会失落 习惯就好
就算会恐惧 习惯就好
就算会寂寞 习惯就好...
惯性有时候真的是一种很...微妙的东西 不是吗?

不懂勒 我整个人真的有越长大越怀念童年的念头 这大概是我这辈子唯一真正无时无刻不挂在心上 想念、眷恋 的东西
有时候 我会觉得以我人生这样子走下去 我真的看不清未来的路 而路的最终是不是幸福更无从而知 更甚至旅途本身就已经让人很心灰意冷 可是还是不得不提起脚步 拖着疲惫的身躯 吃力地挣扎下去 为了一切未知的元素...很无奈 可是人的诞生本身就是无奈 更是无从选择的,不是吗?
虽然这样问听起来会很沮丧难过 可是有时候我真的有在想 为什么我就一定得一直活在这个世上呢?为什么我明明对一切感到厌倦了却还是得继续生活下去?为什么时间就不能静止?为什么不在我诞生前让我知道世界是这样那样的才让我选择要不要来到这个世上?为什么总要让人在怀抱的梦想破碎之后学会一个人舔好自己的伤口学会遗忘?为什么在成长之中,我总是不停地遗忘、放弃、变得越来越麻木...一直到最后,更不敢面对自己?

世界真的很大 而我个人的烦恼真的再渺小不过 生命还是美好的...
那么为何我还是无法放开自己所有的悲伤?为什么还是会一再被捆绑?...在世界的漩涡中央、现实被推挤、在跌跌撞撞之中,最初的梦想也变了样、希望瘫痪在最角落没有阳光拜访的窗...

事实上 我们真的都是基本意义上的幸福的...不是吗 至少都没有温饱的问题
然而心灵上呢 心情上呢 为什么我只觉自己被慢慢抽空 热情储存辆耗不尽一生的光影
为什么人总是要在失去的时候才懂得真心
为什么我总是要在生活里日积月累太多的心情、以及感受

我真的只是很单纯地感到疲惫 心甘情愿陷入永恒的睡眠...
然而醒来后的每一瞬间却还是不得不清醒地意识到 离开了这个房间 我就不是我...
去到了外面 舞台就开始上演
日复一日 年复一年 仅剩的唯有空旷的沉默 在我仰头看着天空的时候 陪伴我
说 人生就是这样地过...

---

在我仰望天空的时候---我会想象 在过去 在现在 在未来
一直都有着同样的一个小孩 在地球的某一个角落和我看着同样的一片天空
脑海里满斥着我是全世界最疲惫的人以及其它一大堆事实上无关紧要的内容
(因为其实不管有这些念头与否 事实上很多事情都是无法改变的 人生还是得一直活下去的)
然后在心里给自己一个微笑 用记忆的灯火照亮路的方向 在生命里给自己温暖
直到有一天 能走在 回家的路上 走在童年时候看着自己成长的奶奶身旁


唯有这样 我才不会觉得 我是寂寞的
因为这世上 必定有人和我一样 降生在陌生而令人恐慌的星球里面
只是我们平时都伪装得太好、太好 所以才会一直找不到对方
在各自的人生里 独自曲折 独自期望 抱着 一定有人和我是一样的 倔强想法一直活下去


直到青春只剩张扬的白发 直到岁月绘出了黄昏的晚霞
亲爱的 我记得的也只是 也只是 那一转身后无声的悲伤 绝响在我的心脏


而明天又会有一再新升的太阳 用坚强把自己化妆 在人生的战场里 我就是唯一的光芒.

Wow... I was so GOD DAMN beat last night!
Like I said, came home late. 8 something. And I had to see the doc.
When I'm back, played around... And took my medication...
And the next thing I know I was OVERWHELMED by fatigue, tiredness... Etc. etc.

I REALLY never ever felt THAT sleepy all my life lor.
In the end I simply kept all my stuff and went to bed...

The next day I had to go around copying and learning for my test last minute...
And well, fact is I don't even feel restored the next morning, in fact I was feeling REALLY dead and pissed etc. etc... Among the top things that REALLY makes me pissed and irritated and annoyed is - LACK of sleep and therefore feeling sleepy. That SUCKS big time lor, MY GOD!

Anyways, HOHOHO, the only topic that got me "actively" talking the entire day (at least for the morning) was my beloved BoA~
She TOPPED WORLD CHARTS b4 lor. As in, there's this site that tracks record sales from Europe, America, Japan, Malaysia and all that...

And BoA ACTUALLY topped it once. I mean that is like so INCREDIBLE already, alright.
Beating Eminem and Green Day and all that.
If I don't remember wrongly... I saw somewhere b4 that BoA is also like ranked among one of the world's top 10+ singer or whatever... In terms of income/ album sales, if I'm not wrong? Parring with Christina Aguilera or, EVEN beating her if my memory does not fail me.

I REALLY think she's so TOTALLY cool lor! MY GOD!
In fact all those peeps that I like ROCKS! Bcuz they are all hopelessly popular one. HAHAHA. Well, I only like stars who are IMMENSELY POPULAR & THE LATEST & CUTE & GOOD-LOOKING... :P

我整个人站在流行音乐金字塔的避雷针顶端耶!!!

Aiyo whatever lar. BoA rocks. (:
Best of Soul - This is like one album you SHOULD die to buy.

See if...



You can...



Spot the difference...



HAHAHA!!!

Finally went to see the doc. today!
Regarding my ears... I've been having problems with hearing lately, I mean, I can still hear just my left ear just feels really blocked and all that.
Anyways, then the doc. said that I have no prob. with my ear~It's just blocked inside. And asked me to do certain stuffs~
Then eventually the conclusion was: My nose was blocked, therefore it affected my ear. And I was like HUH? HOW? [A Bio student afterall.] And he explained it to me...

So in the end, it's really NO PROBLEM with my ears. It's my nose. And what with the damn weather lately, you know, all that humidity in the air. There's some of like "air" trapped inside my ears or what. No wonder I've alays felt like this block was diff. from the rest... Bcuz I must have seen the doctor 3-4 times b4 abt my ear getting blocked by now, and this time the "block" just feels really diff. And for a while I REALLY was worrying abt getting deaf... OMG... I would die without S.H.E music...

Whatever lar! So for once I'm very obliged to take medication for my nose.
Bcuz I've totally given up hope on it le. After 7-8 or fewer or more visits to the doc. Oversensitive. Cannot be cured. Only prevented. Blah blah blah.
Nose gets blocked 99% of the time. All that dust particles trapped in my air by my cillia. Occassional sneezes. Etc. etc.

I don't even care abt the sense of smell anyways. It's in fact, like a "fortunate" thing most of the time. When 80% of the things around you does not smell good. :P The teachers's markers... Etc.

Anyways! So there it is. FINALLY. Feel so relieved and fine. bWaHaHa!!! I treasure and pamper my ears a lot lor~~~It's like the very fact that I can't really listen to myself properly also resulted in me not really inclined to talk lor. Though I'm not that talkative by nature also. WHAT~Ever.

Blah blah blah...

Oh the Bio test was sucky.
It's like only after studying it do I realize how complicated and tedious and hopeless the MENSTRUAL CYCLE can be.
Alright, I never listen to all those Sexual talks much, so my idea of menstruation has always been... A period of 7 days with blood.
Never did I know that --- (TAKES A DEEP BREATH)

Menstruation is actually the break down of the uterine lining with some blood through the VVVVV... bWaHaHa!!! I mean... The idea is that.

First of all you have your mature Graffian follicle....
Then it will start to OVULATE and all that... FERTILE period... Uterine lining thickens... Etc... If the egg is not fertilised, then you have your Menstruation. After which, your FSH stimulates your primary follicles to mature again... So it REALLY is a CONTINUOUS and REPETITIVE cycle with a lot of crap involved~

I should have concentrated on this lor!
I was like spending my time trying to REMEMBER where is THIS, where is THAT, what does IT do, diff. btwn an egg and a sperm... And by the time I reach the Menstrual Cycle it just makes me feel so hopelessly CONFUSED!

Instead of remembering that thing, I was like going around cursing people with CERVICAL CANCER, INFERTILITY, DOWN SYNDROME (3 pairs of 21st human chromosome...) and all that CRAP... HAHAHA!

The most infuriating thing was the last ques. in the paper.
What feature of the diagram shows that the woman is infertile? - She has no or very narrow oviduct.

Her oviduct is BLOCKED, SEAL, of ALL the words in the world!!! MY GOD!!!!!

I was like... Ovum present. Check.
Aaaaaaaaa... "Entrance" present. Check.
Uterus proper. Check.
Eee? No connection/ pathway for ovum to travel thru' to the uterus and all the way down to where it may meet the you know, male gamete, during an act of ER "passion" HAHAHA!... But I just really idiotically put down no oviduct/ narrow oviduct... AAH!!!

Whatever lar~Aiyo. My poor ears...

Anyways, today during lesson LIM LEONG side-track with us again.
She was talking abt the Substituition thing in Chem notes with us.
Then she started talking abt you know this thing hor, last time we used to dissect cockroaches/ frogs and all that with it one leh........
[She revealed later on that she only side-tracked with us bcuz it's easier to talk to us abt it, since we are learning Bio, hahaha!]
And so on and so forth... Then what can you imagine last time they use this to perform operations b4 they have anesthesia?... What if you wake up half-way to see somebody opening up your stomach... Then I was like imagining the scene and telling Jie Jie: Ya lor. Then the person YELLS in surprise and all his lungs and interestines BURST out~HAHAHA!!!
Then Lim Leong went on talking abt how they DISSECT people, she was using words like "you have a good friend for 3 years"... Then later on I realized she meant that you stick with dissecting this same old corpse thru' out! And I was like: YUCK! Dissecing. Even more YUCK! A corpse. WORST YUCK! The same old face.

And already I was like wodnering, MY GOD... Is the face like still there?
What abt will they actually give you a profile of that person...???

Alright. I'm not taking Bio in Uni alright. Period.

Then I like told her it's REALLY disgusting.
And she was like, if not how to learn? SPCA ban the dissection of frogs, rabbits, etc... The now leh?

---Look at diagrams lor. Is my answer. HAHAHA!

Then we also talked abt plants... Plants suck lor. The way she say "everything the same" very funny. It is true what. Your professor or whoever brings you to the Botanical Gardens. Wah. A WHOLE BUNCH of PLANTS.

-See! The stomata!
-See! The leaves.
-See! The stomata again.
-See! The pistils.
-See! The stamens...

Virtually everything that is found on every plant with the same old boring functions.

Oh ya, then she mention a friend of hers who's REALLY major in Biology. But cries non-stop when she sees people dissecting furry animals... And instantly my first thought is: Then SHAVE the fur away b4 dissecting lar!

Makes sense lor. KK.

Anyways! Got our PSLE... Oops O'lvl courses thing today.
Wah. $415. When I look at that sum of money I was like WOAH that's huge.
When I think abt it now I'm like, OK I HAVE to score for this. It's my MONEY at stake, ok?

OH HOHOHO~~~And I've firmly decided.
3 subjects I must take in JC is --- Maths, COMPUTING, Chinese Studies and Literature or whatever... HEEHEEHEE. I'm considering Economics also. Cuz MONEY wonders me. But Bio/ Physics/ Chem also not too bad lar. Though I have no REAL preference for any. In the sense that I may like one but I can't score it in cancelling out my like for that subject.

Then...

Theatre Studies --- Impractical. It may be a dream come true but I'm not a too dreamy person in terms of... Uh, DREAMS regarding jobs.
Elective Art/ Music - Not ENTIRELY interested now. Not my thing. Me, an ARTIST? KILL me.

HMMsie. So I'll see lor. At least I have a path set for me le.
Maths + Computing... bWaHaHa both of this come hand in hand lor~It's like. Algebra? You use that in programming. Vectors? You use that in computer graphics. Etc. etc.~~~
Chinese bcuz I would want to go to Shanghai~~~Aiya, just for fun and interest anyways.

bWaHaHa!!!!!

Anyways, although I was very pressed for time yesterday, I went to play and enjoy first all the same. Watched S.H.E concert. Words can't tell enough how much they REALLY rock me. The songs that I kept on watching are like... I.O.I.O. (I like Selina's 1, 2, 4, GO! And Hebe is REALLY cute.)..... And etc. lar.

My fave part from their performance is the 朋友组曲. They rock lor.
I think the BEST thing abt S.H.E that no other band ever can match up to is their unity and bond, it's like... Erm, lemme think which is the hardest bond... A ionic covalent bond? Or whatever? HA! GIANT MOLECULAR!!! Harder than diamond.

And I love watching it with DOLBY SURROUND SOUND baby. (:
Omg. Hebe rocks, TOTALLY, ok. She's really like my MOST MOST FAVOURITE SINGER.

Oh ya, then it's like... Hebe 跳舞真的是毫无美感可言的啰!!!
While we were watching their concert in Singapore, already we were all like burst out laughing at her 十面埋伏... When I watched their concert on DVD I was like, MY GOD...腿有必要开得那么开吗?... ==. And all that lar. But I think the Only Lonely and I.O.I.O dance is really cute!

Whatever lar! S.H.E is REALLY like my MOST favourite singer of ALL times.
Sad times, happy times, great times, lonely times, ovulation times (...), S.H.E is always on my TOP-HITS list!

Oh ya btw I just heard the entire HONEY album by Cyndi Wang le.
Some tracks ARE really nice. I mean HONEY is a very nice song le. But her songs are like hopelessly childish lor~That sort of... Bubblegum pop?...

Whatever!

对了,我和 Hebe 的孩子姓田名蜜蜜!!! HAHAHA!!!...

AIYO... I was just watching that I.O.I.O lar... Then I saw it again!
That part in the whole song that made me lvoe it so much! I don't know why but I just love it so much when Hebe did this as she sang 情人节我~就忘记... That's so cool!



You have to watch the whole clip to see how cool it is lar~~~HAHAHA!

Omg! Oh ya, tell you what, I feel like asking people if they wanna go someone's hse and then we all watch the concert DVD together lor. HAHAHA. Dunno leh, I just am borne with this love and tendency to say, get people involved in my favourite activities leh, heeheehee. Cool mah. But whatever lar~~~Quite lazee to go around asking people anyways, I bet half of my lifespan would "qi4" away if I do ask anyways, HAHAHA!

Hebe 是什么>>>?



女神!!! bWaHaHa!!!

哦人生再沮丧日子难免失意 而S.H.E是我的魔力~~~ :P

哎哟懒得说了我要再看 S.H.E 一下下再熬夜!啊---我是可怜的.可是有S.H.E在,一切都是值得的!!! XD!!!

Well... Kind of feeling really sleepy, dizzy and all that at the mmt. #.#
Anyways, and once again my ear feels blocked again... Duh. It's really irritating.
Anyways... I was just thinking, I've been getting busier this year alright. And that leaves me with so much fewer time to think abt things, abt what I'm doing and where I'm heading and all that...

Then sometimes all of a sudden, when I'm by myself and all that, it's almost like a "loss" of feeling/ thinking overwhelm me...

Sure, it's a good thing not to think too much.

But, I dunno... Feeling really tired. +___+

Omg... What happened was that, well, Dan and I started talking abt our "fond" for girls today during LESSON, HAHAHA!

No lar~Because she started with telling me abt how "gentle" her coach was, that her coach brushed her messy fringe aside while talking to her and comforting her abt her competition...

Then we went on to talk talk talk... Then suddenly I said, Hey I relate to what you were feeling. Bcuz that is the exact sort of feeling I get when that, you know, the girl that I told you abt, reminded me to wake up one fine morning.

It's like, REALLY lor.

Then I was like using words such as 温柔,母爱... Blah blah blah, HAHAHA!
But, really, although I never KNEW who that person really was, I remembered her so much more deeply than anyone else, I mean in fact I remember certain strangers REALLY deeply, and even though I don't know them, somehow I feel like we're connected. Simply bcuz of the looks of that person, or his dressing, or just one simple gesture. I think this must have been one of the most amazing things in human civilization history.

That sort of feeling where-by,

如果能在开满了栀子花的山坡上
与你相遇
如果能
深深地爱过一次
再别离
那么　再长久的一生
不也就只是　就只是
回首时
那短短的一瞬

Of cuz it's not really love that I'm talking abt here lar. But I guess that has to do with FATE, and SeReNdIpItY and all that, I guess. :P
I mean, they make me feel like, I don't know you now... But who knows, maybe I knew you the last life! Or whatsoever, that sort of thing.

长长的人生、茫茫人海之中
也许早已经忘记了那个人的样子 更甚至那天的天气
记得的永远都只有 那一霎那交错的光辉

That's something like in 地下铁 [Sound of Colours] anyways...

Anyways 虽然会觉得说 或许我应该和对方聊聊天 很忽然地对一个让自己觉得无比亲切的陌生人说说话
也许冥冥之中种下的因该在此短暂的交会时刻开花 或许我们都有共同的想法 遇见就像是坠近了一个温馨的童话

然后有时候 我会觉得人海中这短暂的相逢 就已很足够
至少我记得的 永远是最美丽的时候

But then really leh~Uptil now, I still believe that I have met an [angel] once in my life.
For that mmt I was REALLY [??] on the spot. And though all details were gone now, that moment in life held on forever. I mean, it's so HOPELESSLY cool, isn't it?

Whatever lar~

虽然我是个现实主义者、人总不免陷入唯美的童话、期待着下一个路口的相逢,会是一个能伴自己走过一生的人,缘分缘分~~~基本上我该去做功课了. :P

Oh ya, then yesterday I walked home right. At my house the shop there.
There was this lil boy who was like looking up at me. And I mean lil, a cute lil kid lar. Then I decided that omg ok I like you (bcuz kids are cute)~And I smiled at him. I so happened to be in a rather good mood that mmt too. I mean, when you have a pair of big innocent eyes looking at you with a curious looks and kids just have this MAGIC of making people forget abt all their troubles when they're with them... Can you not feel good?... And he smiled back!

Omg that was like so cute. Then we were like looking at each other, hahaha~
Even his grandma was like turned around, saw him smiling at me, and me smiling at him, and smiled too. ^.^"

That was so cute lor~Omg!!!

Then the other day I also saw a POMERANIAN there too.
I was like OMG THIS IS SO CUTE I WANT IT HOME WITH ME SO THAT I CAN HUG IT, WALK IT, FEED IT, ETC... JUST FEEL REALLY GLAD TO HAVE IT!!!
And as I walked pass I REALLY kept on kept on looking and thinking abt how much I want a Pomeranian lor...

Alright! When I start earning money... First GIFT I wanna earn myself will be - to get a Pomeranian and be able to AFFORD it ---

风扇在炎热的雨后慢慢旋转 我喜欢这样子的清凉~~~
生命里未知的玄秘在耳边低语...我迷恋上这种温馨而神秘的讯息
如果说人生剩下的只是回忆 就让一切停格在最美丽的时刻里
希望尘世中的每一条路的终点都是幸福 就算途中荆棘漫布
当我们穿越了最艰苦的埋伏 路的前方必定铺满了幸福 就像是七彩的花瓣在落日的余晖中飞舞
---
^.^

Oh ya! Then as I walked home today... I heard this woman shouting at her maid lor.
And it was REALLY loud, then I was really like... My God, do they really have to take it out on their maids lidat...? Can you imagine if you are that person, you're all alone and away from home, working on your own... And you have to live with all this...?

MY GOD... I don't know. At least for me I never have a maid all my life.
And I'm sure I would feel really weird if I have one, I would feel like I owe her something if she has to do every single thing for me, I mean.
Though on the other hand I LOVE getting my mother, my cousin and whoever I can to run my errands for me... WELL - WHATEVER~!~I'm just LAZEE and LOVE being served...

Blah blah blah...

Oh I love this style of writing man~

當愛情慢慢冒出新生的嫩芽
想念彷彿是春雨編織的紗
幸福就像　含苞待放的花
永遠都不離開我　這句話　太傻
而我們卻仍然心甘情願的　不去掙扎



當南風輕輕吹過窗外竹籬笆
陽光靜靜灑在妳睡著的臉頰
心跳就像　海浪偷偷親吻著沙
煩惱遺忘　爭執的淚水總會蒸發
在妳醒來前許下的願望　卻不知不覺在變化



當落葉凋零那些妳不了解的傷
妳的眼光總不在我的方向
愛情就像　真心落下後的晚霞
謝謝妳陪著我走過這麼一段時光
無所謂我還剩下　妳臨走前　對不起那句話



當針織圍巾開始將傷口包紮
回憶只不過一杯溫熱的奶茶
寂寞就像　夜裡沁涼的月光
但是　親愛的　妳知道嗎　我仍然在想
不管愛情有多瘋狂　但終究還是得　被遺忘

HEYHEY! Well, here we have YET another Monday.
Anyways, life is usuals. (: Not too bad, not entirely great either. Duh duh duh.

Anyways, I went to the dentist today. bWaHaHa. My teeth condition DID improve lor. :P
Anyways! Then we had to put on this... GLASSES. And I was like, taking photos of myself with it? HAHAHA! --- "Disgusted" by myself.

Anyways, when I entered, the place was like AS NOISY as a fish market.
Because you have Huiting and Yijie here. Both of them were like so CHATTY I don't wanna comment lor. That's why I DARED to zi4-pai1 mah. I mean, no real connection lar, but - WHATEVER.



That thing made me feel like my eyes are like so WIDE-OPEN in shock lidat.
Anyways! So that's that~~~

And I was REALLY hungry by lunch. Bcuz I didn't have recess. Feels too weird to InGeSt.

Anyways, GOD knows how much I SERIOUSLY feel like killing DA ZUI BA. MY GOD!
He finally finished watching my beloved S.H.E's concert. Then he was like KEPT on claiming himself to be the DANCER that... ((TAKES A DEEP BREATH)) Hebe rubbed her rear against, and whose breast Hebe stroked (I mean Hebe stroked his chest), and the part that totally make me feel like SMASHING the TV or whatsoever was when HEBE propped her leg against the dancer~~~I WAS LIKE: OMG that guy WILL BE a DEAD MAN.

IRRITANT! Pesticide! Insecticide!

Anyways. My current two fave 艺人 is like... HEBE & WON BIN!!! bWaHaHa!!! XD~~~
Hebe really rocks inside the concert lor. Even Da Zui Ba was like singing praises of her performance. And I kept on talking with him abt the concert, HAHAHA!

S.H.E REALLY ROCKS, OH MAN!!! (:

Whatever lar, I'm like 100% pro-Hebe le~~~Cuz she's just getting prettier and prettier to me HAHAHA! YES I AMMMMM SUPERFICIAL, bWaHaHa!!!

Anyways, I've been getting rather serious, at least talking seriously recently leh. :P

I mean the other day that Da Zui Ba called and we started talking abt FRIENDS (my WON BIN), S.H.E (my HEBE), and loads of other stuff. From the start of that stupid Fiery Thunderbolt all the way into quite some time after the show ended. Actually I think I CAN talk a lot on phone lar, used to talk for HOURS, really HOURS with my pri. sch. friends... But then now also hardly contact le. I mean, bcuz I NEVER ever dial people up all my life. LAZEE. :P Anyways,就算失去联络,祝福依旧~希望在某个重逢的路口,我们会想起曾经的年少、再面带微笑、问声好. :P

Whatever lar~~~
其实对我而言...大多数的时候我都很少会怀念从前或者留恋啦.很难过很难过的时候会很想念童年...可是除此之外,大多时候我整个人就是对于过去的东西毫无兴趣、我觉得人生在于当下, alright?


被恶到了~~~


被平复回~~~哈哈哈!!!我整个人很少在巴士上面 take photo 了勒...因为每次都很多人...


WHATEVER lar.我希望自己可以好好地茁壮成长、尽好自己作为学生的责任和本分、丰富自己的内涵、然后呢,让自己更快乐点...等等等.

不懂啦~~~我整个人有在越变越懒的状态.至少有时候我整个认真的会忽然觉得...天啊,说话好麻烦哦...我觉得我发呆的次数已经有在增加的状态... =.= 其实很多时候我真的真的只想自己一个人悠哉闲哉地看本书、听点音乐、玩玩 PS 2...整个人已经有点活腻了这种对我而言还蛮奔忙的生活节奏...

我觉得我很轻而易举地对任何事物感到厌倦耶...完全性的天生三分钟热度. :P
((然而我爱XBB小彬彬&小Bebe的心永不变))哈哈哈!!!

然而
有时候...我会坚持只喝一种饮料.
有时候...我会反复地听着同一首歌.
有时候...我会固执地毫不变通...

SO...我不知道~~~

而且在一个 充满了 逻辑与科学的思想里 竟然也可以同时存在着对 fantasy lands 的幻想 以及一种世界大同的理想 (虽然同时我也会觉得那根本是不可能)
在成熟地思想的同时也可以幼稚到一种程度...喜欢诗的同时也喜欢任何的方程式...
这其中必然存在着一个我不知晓的如同在时光之河中缓缓流动的记忆涓流般宁静而温馨的秘密...
关于自己、以及真实 生命的线索 我还在慢慢捉摸

一说到这里 不知道为什么我忽然想起了老家 还有和我血脉相连的那条街
街的脉络是我这辈子最珍藏最美好的回忆 让我有勇气在人生里挣扎下去...

不懂勒 某种程度而言 我所拥有的一切 是冥冥之中的一种东西吧~
口素...如果要下定义的话 是什么造就了一个人呢...? WELL WELL WELL...

微风飘荡在花香的走廊 墙上的画像在寂寞自赏
我用这一段文字的抽象 来带过此刻的感想~

I... I HAD to continue! bWaHaHa!
Omg. I really love computer graphics man. SET. I'm taking up COMPUTING, duh!

Omg! I'm just done with a really neat technique! UFO GLOW effect!!! :O
Omg the net is my BESTEST tutor HAHAHA.

OMG... Personally I like this one a lot. Just went to take a tutorial on photoshop-ing with skin and all that. + Some newly downloaded brushes... And this is what I got... XD~~~

From this:


To this:


What's the trick?
---Some brushes + a nice background blah blah blah...
Anyways actually after seeing that the picture is predominantly BLUE.
I should have made the text more-blueish as well... HMMsie.

请不要太佩服我~我会不好意思的.
HAHAHA!有时候我真的会怀疑这世上还有没有人比我更自"爱"、更无耻... XD!!!

UH, Mud-Man said CAN put the, so long as NO outsiders see it. No outsiders around right? OK.
---I should post my blog add. up in forums... HAHAHA!!! XD~~~

Cannot stand this photo lor... HOW RETARDED.



Anyways, then the Genius me finally got Photoshop today~And I tried to make something out of that. HMMs. I've lost quite a lot of downloaded goodies so that's the best I can manage as far as possible... :P



I'm such a genius... I should use that as my signature pic. in forums HAHAHA! MY GOD~~~Cannot tahan lor. XD!!! That is like so ***CUTE***.

ONCE AGAIN, I didn't do anything. You did not see this post right? Ok. There you are. HAHAHA.

OMG.我觉得我真是天才... XD!!!


改天有空又要开始 take tutorials 啰!!!

贴几张小 Bebe 的照片... ^.^

Heyhey! I was surfing around some sites and had lots of fun.
Well, I learned abt the Science behind music, diff. colour eyes, and what that verticle "lines" below our nose and connecting to our mouth is called, what makes sad music sound sad, how to create your own NATION, and CRAP like: Is it scientifically possible to create LIGHTSABERS?... etc. etc... Hahaha it's really quite fun leh.

Learning abt all sorts of crap. XD

http://www.exploratorium.edu/music/

天啊有 wireless keyboard + mouse 就是好~~~
我整个人要做功课的时候随便搬就能 clear 出空间给我用功了~
Anyways!我刚出去回来的时候看到一只 POMERANIAN
天啊好好好好好*infinity可爱啊 可爱到我想跳楼自尽!!!
可爱到我恨不得把它拐带回家!!!真的是超级极度可爱的啰!!!
My GOD!!!我整个人最热爱的动物就是 POMERANIAN 了~~~
太太太可爱了啦!!!好想养一支哦~~~

昨天晚上坐巴士的时候我难得地望着窗外了一下子
自从买了 mp3 player 之后大多的时候我都是闭上双眼 听音乐...
Anyways 整个人看着被夜色笼罩的城市总会给我一种很忧伤的感觉
一种打从生命本身就觉得很忧伤的感觉 忧伤到很烦闷 感觉上胸口是憋紧的
不懂勒~~~唉 一个人能负荷的悲伤到底有多重 就算超载了也只是无奈
无论觉得生命的存在多么苍白 还是得一直一直地活下去 然后不停地为伪装自己 天啊!!!
有时候 我真的只想很单纯地沉沉睡去...再也不去理会这个世界、或者明天 等等等

然后个人成长史中最珍贵的一段回忆快速地在脑中倒带 遗留的是无尽的遗憾和惋惜
我憎恨为什么时间总是向前、无法停下...隐约中只觉得一股很深沉的悲伤在眼中发酵

现实没有完美 而人活得很疲惫
怀抱了太多的梦想与期望 唯有跌跌撞撞 受过伤 才渐渐醒悟...
而成长让人遗弃了梦想 世界不只是单纯的童话 而是被故事点缀得很华丽的谎话
渐渐遗忘 我在茫茫人海中也终于一点点的遗失了自己...因为学会了不诚实 自导自演着一出自以为是的戏 而到了最后 到底还有什么剩下...? 也许只是一片残缺 在生命中慢慢瓦解
放纵悲伤 也许活得更自在开朗 我却硬逼自己坚强 唯有在偶然的偶然 才对自己卸下了伪装...

回家吧 只是想看看一朵含苞待放的花
回家吧 只是想放下无畏的挣扎 尽情地让眼泪亲吻自己的脸颊
回家吧 只想在疲惫的时候 有谁能掌灯照亮了归家的路 那灯光让人平静而安心
回家吧 只想一次过让所有的悲伤被释放 不再是压抑...
---
就像是 无根的幽灵 在静谧的黑暗里 无声地飞行
就像是 无尽的悲伤 在静止的角落里 一再地堆积
就像是 曾经的自己 在生命的旅行里 渐渐死去

[我在電腦前收看這個美麗世界
記憶裡城堡旁有座花園
芭比不在身邊
童話沒有幸福結尾
快樂只是情節
故事有寂寞點綴才是完美
蝴蝶不再對花眷戀
花不再等待流水
一首詩多少心碎畫面
只不過事過境遷過往雲煙
而夢裡依舊一追再追
生活厭倦
旅程疲憊
成長讓人覺得累
這筆一寫就決定舉手不回
謊言瓦解
虛偽擱淺
今夜晚間新聞都是我的體會
赤裸的呈現
我就是我
不是誰
歡迎收看
謝謝---白日梦工厂 个人很喜欢这种诗的风格 呵呵呵]]

Oh I Saw This Article Online, Quite Meaningful HOHOHO

【幸福與孤獨之間】




作家高行健曾經這麼說孤獨：

「孤獨是人特有的感受，一隻鳥或一顆樹看似孤獨，也是觀看者所賦與的。而這種感受恰恰來自於這人獨處的時候，觸景生情，把眼前的鳥或那顆樹也同自己的處境連繫起來，因而這種感受總會有自我審視的意味，並非是全然客觀的觀察。」




如果孤獨是自我影射的狀況，那幸福呢？
常常我們看到朋友成雙成對的在一起，總會說：「你們好幸福喔。」
然後總認為自己老是和幸福擦肩而過。

幸福就跟孤獨一樣，也是自己所賦與的感受。




在畢業的季節裡，紀念冊上都會有著許多同學朋友們滿滿的祝福。
其中不外乎：「珍重再見」、「鵬程萬里」等等。

偶然間看到這麼一句：「要幸福喔！」


我們都希望，家人可以過得幸福，朋友可以得到幸福，自己可以找到幸福，希望自己所喜歡的人，都可以擁有幸福。

但問題是，幸福到底在哪裡？

「你曾經幸福過嗎？」
如果有人這麼問我，我的回答是：「是的，我曾經擁有過幸福。」

幸福的定義是自己決定的。
與其說是尋找幸福，不如說是接受幸福。

就像是在傷心難過的時候，願意接受朋友的關心與安慰。
在一個人跌倒受挫的時候，願意接受家人的鼓勵與幫助。




曾經在電視上看過一個饑餓的小男孩。


記者問他：「你現在最想要什麼？」
小男孩回答：「想要一塊蛋糕。」
記者又問：「然後呢？」


「然後吃下去。」小男孩開心的笑著。

對小男孩來說，幸福就是這麼簡單。

　

幸福當然不一定只存在於愛情，或許在家裡陪著家人吃一頓飯，看看電視；或許和朋友在一起，聊著未來的夢想，或是對於另一半的追求和意見交流。

在這個短暫的人生中，有多少陪著家人，陪著朋友的回憶？
而我們又有多少時間能夠把握住每一刻的感受？

幸福隨時隨地都存在著，只在於願不願意去感受它。
而樂觀者比悲觀者更容易感受到幸福的存在。

　

作家蔡智恆曾在書中的序寫著：

「創作這件事，對我而言，就像是一個人攀爬喜馬拉雅山而不帶氧氣筒。過程是孤獨的，而且常會呼吸困難。」


創作的過程，是孤獨的。
而時間的成長，會改變一個人。

當多年以後，再回頭看看自己從前的創作。
那會變成是一種很寶貴，很寶貴的回憶。

如果創作的過程是孤獨的，那麼對於孤獨的上癮，進而創作文字，就是一種難以言喻的幸福。

很多時候，創作是隨著靈感而誕生，而靈感則是隨著情境而觸動。
當我還能看見自己創作的文章時，那就是一種幸福。

幸福不一定發生於現在，也可能存在於過去和未來。

　

「那愛情方面的幸福呢？」

我的回答還是一樣：「一樣曾經有過幸福。」

兩個人在一起的回憶，不論是快樂的，亦或是悲傷的，能夠值得回味，就算離開了感情，愛過、痛過，得到與失去，都是人生成長過程中的一段經歷。

我們不能因為愛情的消逝，而抹滅它存在的痕跡。




忘了是誰說的：

「下雨時，我們不能改變天氣，但可以改變自己的心情。我們不能改變自己的身高，但可以控制自己的體重。我們不能去預知生命的長度，但我們卻可以讓生命，活的更深。」

　

我們無法去看見幸福的形狀，掌握幸福的實體。
但是，我們可以去懂得幸福，感受幸福的存在。

就如同引用那小男孩的故事。

　

「你現在最想要什麼？」

「想要幸福。」

「然後呢？」

「然後一直幸福下去。」

　

　

2004/6/5，渺晨，寫於有蚊子的夜晚。

Anyways, yesterday I went to Kovan to purchase BEST of Soul (BoA's BEST COLLECTION album + 14 MV DVD) & S.H.E's ENCORE DVD. Woo-hoo-hoot!

Before that went neoprint-taking with Pei Hui and Kelvin.
Just so happens that all 3 of us wanted to head for Kovan, HAHAZ!

Then after that went to eat at Yoshi~ :P

Anyways, then when I came home... Watched ENCORE DVD!
Omg!!! HEBE rocks! HA!!!

After that watched some BoA MVs too! OMG! BoA rocks!

Then after that it's 3 hrs running of FRIENDS... (altogether 4 episodes, I watched the first le...)... And it's like XIAO BIN BIN really acted very well lor! And he looked CUTE ALL the time inside that show, HAIZ. :P Now I know why Ella fell in love with him after watching Friends lor. Cuz I can feel a surge of his "status" in my heart after watching that, HAHAHA!!!

And he's like smiling and grinning 90% of the time... I love his smile lor it's like! OMG~~~























OMG this is like SO cute. XD

Oh the other day I stayed back after sch...

Basically this is the kind of 嘴脸 you use where DA ZUI BA is concerned.


AIYA~~~I REALLY feel like putting a FRONT VIEW photo of Mud-Man up leh. She looked HOPELESSLY dumb lor. AIYAYA~~~Got tie 2 lor~~~







Then the other day after CCA...
Aiyo basically Mud-Man is like as DAI SAI as can be, OMG!

Question: OMG! Why is ENJIAO so cute!?
STANDARD MODEL answer: She's BORNE that way HAHAHA! XD








AIYO I REALLY feel like letting the whole world "ENJOY" Mud-Man's GREAT looks leh... HEEHEEHEE... ^.^